BEIJING: LIKE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER

JULY 27,2009 8:37 am
LIKE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER

Beijing is really keying up for the Olympics. The airport is new and big... and shaped like a dragon...with flowers all over it. I never saw a flowery dragon before, but then, I never saw any dragon. Maybe they are covered in pansies and gladiolus. As we landed at about 10 AM, I didn't recall it being quite so foggy when I was here in 2001. When I reached the hotel at 11 am, the fog still hadn't moved out.

My hotel was the 5 star Oriental Bay Hotel. It is Oriental. It is a hotel. There is no bay, but maybe the not too polluted looking sluice in front counts for something. At noon, I get out of the shower and look out the window. It occurs to me that the fog is probably something else. And who says you can't see air. I inquire with the concierge downstairs, "Do you think this fog will move along later today?" "Oh, no, madam," he shakes his head. "It is air pollution." He goes on to inform me that all the factories within a certain perimeter of Beijing have been shut down for the last 4 weeks and that now, things are much better. And, he adds, ever the optimist, it is still two weeks until the Olympics. I look out at the grey clouds all the way to the ground and a sunless sky and imagine athletes from 44 nations lying on the dirt after their events, gasping for breath and looking like guppies out of water. "Good luck with that," I mumble.

I decide to stay in. I go back upstairs to my room and decide to brush my teeth for entertainment. The sign on the sink says, "Do not drink the water." You gotta be kidding me. Next, I will find out the hotel is built on a Super Fund site.

I re-think the situation. I go to the Chinese restaurant (what other kind would they have?) and they hand me a menu printed in Mandarin. Fortunately, there are photos of the food. I cannot tell what it is, but at least I can order something in a pleasing color combination. And, by the way, may I have some water? Of course, I can. The waitress returns with a beautiful porcelain cup and a pot of steaming hot water. Lovely. I contemplate what is the worse thing that can happen to me if I drink the tap water. I envision myself as a large dragon whose flowers are all wilting. I further entertain the thoughts of Olympic sprinters hurrying themselves to the end of their events and running over to the sidelines and sipping hellishly hot water from porcelain cups with their pinkies held high in the air.

So for anyone headed to the Olympics, don't drink the water. Don't breathe the air. But if you are in the mood for Chinese food...